What is a fear-based relationship?

With Emma Queen

What is a fear-based relationship?

These are relationships and attachments that only exist through fear of loss. These relationships once made sense, but can often be co-dependent and unhealthy.

If you notice that you can’t be your real self when you are with this person, this is a sign of a fear-based relationship. You fear to lose them through being ‘you’.

If you notice that you are ‘settling’ in a relationship, this is another sign. Putting up with shit, things you don’t agree with – because you think you might die alone.

If you find that you can only be happy around these people and remember, this is not just about intimate relationships. But if you rely on this people/person to be happy, you are in a fear-based relationship. Fear of loneliness can cause this too – relationships should be based on love, not fear.

If you notice that you get jealous of the people you hang out with, or your partner – this is a fear-based relationship. Now, I am talking about being more jealous than usual. I think it’s a natural feeling to be jealous…but when it turns into checking people’s phones, following them or other social media ‘stalks’. Then this is all based upon fear, not love.

Last but definitely not least – if you get anxiety or lash out easily when you are in this relationship…this is also a fear-based relationship. Getting angry with these people is not healthy (for you or them) and if it’s happening regularly, especially between the both of you – this is fear based. Yes, I know that ‘life stresses’ happen, money/job/family…but it’s more than this. You understand, don’t you?

Am I telling you to walk away from your family and relationships to move forward in your life?


I think it needs to be a consideration.


This is a hard thing to take on, isn’t it?